3. Otherwise, the INFJ might withdraw back into their shell. Think: A weekly calendar with a few things penned in, not an hour-by-hour day planner. So, please do reveal your inner world. You can also read books on how the mind works. INFJs are known for their primary cognitive functions, Introverted Intuition (Ni) and Extroverted Feeling (Fe). One of the challenges of being an INFJ is that you love to help others, particularly through nonjudgemental listening, open acceptance, and thoughtful advice, but you seldom open up and allow your true self to be known. In general, they like planning ahead rather than being spontaneous, because it gives them time to prepare (both mentally and otherwise). Infj Mbti. INFJs are known to be organized and enjoy having a plan, but there’s a part of us that enjoys spontaneity as well. Do: Be serious with your affections. Here are 12 things. How to make a INFJ happy 1. Learning I’m an INFJ absolutely changed my understanding of myself for the better. And, INFJs see the world in a very unique way — a way that most people can’t understand or relate to. One of the toughest things about being an INFJ is that (like other introverted intuitive types) we crave a bigger purpose — but what is this purpose? Essentially, that meant putting myself first. Don’t be too rigid and avoid the temptation to impose your structure on the INFP. Know thyself, INFJ. … We only recommend products we truly believe in. There is perhaps no other type better suited to create a movement to right a wrong. Like what you’re reading? Not everyone will understand the INFJ, and unfortunately, most people won’t even try. So, INFJ, remember that a simple change in your environment may be enough to boost your happiness. Help your INFP to do tedious chores, such as cleaning. Is it by giving love to others? Treat yourself to the movies or a … Because happiness is an emotion — and we are never and can never be stuck in one emotion all the time — it is impossible for us to always be happy. Sometimes even they don’t understand themselves. I actually know another INFJ in my classes and I've been going to school with her for the past 5 years!!!! But don’t worry, INFJs will never use your vulnerabilities against you. INTP here dating an INFJ. Stay true to your word. You'll often find people with this personality type … If, like me, you struggle with people-pleasing, take baby steps if you don’t think you can make a big change all at once. They are free-thinkers who are not afraid to (quietly) go their own way. You aren’t living your life’s purpose. The more unknowns they find, the more excited they get. That’s not always true. Because there are not many people in the world like them, INFJs often feel like perpetual outsiders. Here are 12 signs that an INFJ is unhealthy. INFJs are among the most social of introverts. INFJs have a dark and twisty side that comes out from time to time. 170. One of the nicknames of INFJ is “Idealist” and that’s for a good reason. Practice self-love. Their plans tend to be fairly loose and flexible, however, because they are intuitives, not sensors. Meaningful introspection. She strives to be a lifelong learner and is interested in most topics, but reading, writing, and skincare have prevailed among her favorites. 1. This article contains affiliate links. When we’re able to exercise all four functions well, we’ll be better able to make informed decisions and manage our emotions, which are important factors in cultivating happiness. What makes me happy as an INFJ: Helping others, especially my family, boyfriend and friends. It gives them time to reflect on their lives and process what they’ve experienced. They may turn to journaling, travel, literature, and art to further their self-knowledge. Understand that they are sort of strange but do not treat them like a weirdo. Tell yourself to catch the next conscious thought that arises. There are 8 things an INFJ needs in order to lead a happy life. If a concept is … 3. This means to think and act consciously based on your values and your purpose in life, thus living “with intention.” It’s about learning how to make better decisions so you have fewer regrets and are happier. Please be mindful of our ideals and principles and avoid asking us to go against them. By “surprise,” I don’t mean changing plans last minute. Make sure you’re reading or listening to a good book for at least 30 minutes per day. Take time to appreciate yourself. Self-blame. I know the idea of putting yourself first may sound selfish and self-centered. One book on this topic that I’ve been enjoying recently is Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman. When listening to an INFJ, you may have to wait past the awkward silence stage. Develop your Se by engaging in activities that teach you to come into the present moment fully. Yoga is a great way to practice Se because it requires you to concentrate on your breathing and transitions in poses. My ENTP bf does this for me. Your INFJ is very idealistic and principled. INFJ’s need new ideas as much as others need food and water. INFJs are deeply moved by beauty, whether it’s a masterfully designed environment, a breath-taking work of art, or a song that touches their heart. (Not sure of your personality type? There are INFPs out there who give up and who reject their own innocence in order to protect themselves, but those INFPs are also less happy. 1. Ideas are fascinating – they can change the world. This is particularly difficult for extroverts to do. However, being a “judging” type, INFJs require some amount of routine and orderliness to function at their best. INFJs will not be content with a shallow life. I realized that a cheerful disposition and always going with what others wanted made them like me more, but it was extremely exhausting to adopt such a front all the time. Simply working to pay their bills will leave them feeling empty and restless. I am so happy!! Happiness — the elusive thing that everyone wants, yet many of us struggle to get and maintain. So far so good, we really get each other and our sexual relationship is good. Living up to the INFJ standard may seem so hard that some people may begin to avoid them. Having more information on your logical fallacies and mental biases can better inform your subjective judgement of things. Develop your Ti by examining and strengthening your inner mental framework. Feels like the best relationship I've been in (I'm 30, so I've been in a few). INFJs often surprise the people in their lives by withdrawing from time to time. Help With An INFJ* Hi. INFJs work hard to understand oth… They want to hear the secret thoughts you’re afraid to utter. And the world needs what INFJs have to give. For some people it isn’t that they would make for bad leaders, they don’t don’t feel comfortable […] They may hop from one career to the next, “try on” different identities, or enter into relationships with people who are vastly different from them in the search for who they are. Ni and Fe are amazing functions, and as INFJs, we naturally use them with ease. Jenn started Introvert, Dear because she wanted to write about what it was like being an introvert living in an extrovert's world. This article contains affiliate links. In a society that doesn’t understand the INFJ’s way, what does this unique personality need in life to be happy? If you break that promise, we will feel betrayed. So be sure to pull that INFJ into group conversations with small comments. Try solving some logic puzzles in your free time to exercise your mind. INFJs use Ti to form an internal, logical framework of how the world works. Yes, yes, and yes! 19. Without meaningful interaction, INFJs will wither. The type of happiness that is stable and lasting comes from within, not from friends, social media, or any external source or validation. Now, the INFJ is not a social butterfly, and probably has a small network of friends that he/she holds dear and near. Sign up for our newsletters to get more stories like this. It means that you start empowering yourself by acknowledging that you, too, have needs, and you actually make the effort to meet these needs. Did it mean sometimes not attending social gatherings simply because I didn’t feel like it? Don’t try to make an INFJ jealous, just don’t, she will not respond like you want her to. 31. They yearn to not only know others on a deep level, but also themselves. Here’s What Each Introverted Myers-Briggs Type Really Wants in Life, The Secret Lives of Introverts: Inside Our Hidden World, How HSPs Can Deal With Negative Emotions (And Actually Feel Better), 3 Fictional Characters You’ll Relate to If You’re an INFP, The Challenges of the Introvert-Extrovert Relationship (and How to Deal), 6 Problems All Shy Introverts Will Understand, Why Self-Employment Might Be the Best Career Path for Introverts, 5 Ways for Introverts to Turn Small Talk Into ‘Deep’ Talk, 6 Things My Cat Taught Me About Being an Introvert, Introvert/Extrovert Test {Fast Easy Quiz}. INFJs will work hard to please their partner, and want to find ways to provide for them and bring them joy. I discovered the test this year as an 8th grader and after a lot of research I knew that she was one too. Surprise us. That’s because these types FEED off of complexity – especially psychological complexity. Been together for a little under a year. I got out of the house. They can’t just punch in and punch out; in order to be happy, they must be working to help others and ultimately make the world a better place. I asked her to take the test, she did, and is an INFJ!' But hear me out: Putting yourself first doesn’t mean you become an unkind person who disregards the needs of others. It gives us a deep sense of purpose and happiness to feel needed and useful. Similar to #6, INFJs tend to need their environments somewhat organized. Now that you know what resonates with you on a deeper level — and what makes you feel alive, passionate, and encouraged — you’re better equipped to pursue the things and people that matter, and back away from the ones that don’t. Without intimate self-knowledge, INFJs will feel lost and aimless. You might find that the attention placed on catching that thought keeps you alert and fully in the now. But there are some themes I've noticed in my personal & professional relationships with other INFJs, so here are some tips to navigate life as an INFJ: 1) You have to make yourself known. Although they can enjoy social, more adventurous dates, an ideal date for INFJs are places where you two can spend time one-on-one. The INFJ personality is thought to be the rarest of the 16 Myers-Briggs personality types, making up only 1-2 percent of the population. Vernessa is a twenty-something hailing from the sunny island of Singapore. First of all, self-acceptance is not the same as resignation. INFJ Self-Esteem Issues and How to Love Yourself More 1. However, we often forget about the remaining two functions, Introverted Thinking (Ti) and Extroverted Sensing (Se). She has appeared on the BBC and in Buzzfeed and Glamour magazine. 34. Now she's on a mission: to let introverts everywhere know it's okay to be who they are. Learning to be happy within their own personal space and understand themselves better, is definitely going to help the INFJ feel stronger and happier with who they are. What an INFJ Needs to Be Happy 1. Several years ago when I was taking classes for my master’s degree, teaching, and coaching volleyball all at one time, I was getting sick 3 to 4 times per year. Sometimes they are even mistaken for extroverts. Mine is somewhat different. They especially love helping other people understand their complicated, messy emotions and grow. How important is it for an INFJ to make time to create? 1. mindfully thinking about your own mortality, Oxford Learner’s Dictionary defines happiness, How to Cultivate Meaning in Your Work and Life as an INFJ, The Surprising Dark Side of the INFJ Personality Type, The ‘Kryptonite’ That Secretly Blindsides Each Introverted Myers-Briggs Personality Type, How HSPs Can Deal With Negative Emotions (And Actually Feel Better), 3 Fictional Characters You’ll Relate to If You’re an INFP, The Challenges of the Introvert-Extrovert Relationship (and How to Deal), 6 Problems All Shy Introverts Will Understand, Why Self-Employment Might Be the Best Career Path for Introverts, 5 Ways for Introverts to Turn Small Talk Into ‘Deep’ Talk, 6 Things My Cat Taught Me About Being an Introvert, Introvert/Extrovert Test {Fast Easy Quiz}, The state of being satisfied that something is good or right. It allows them to clear away the chatter of the world and focus on their own thoughts and feelings. Jenn is a contributor to Psychology Today, HuffPost, Susan Cain’s Quiet Revolution, Upworthy, The Mighty, The Muse, Motherly, and a number of other outlets. When you do so, INFJ, you’ll find that happiness often joins along the way. This exercise may force you to confront something that you’ve been running away from, but have courage and write it down no matter how insignificant or unrealistic it may seem to others. But those niceties will probably not be enough for the INFJ who is yearning to champion a cause. Saved by Hayley. Take a free personality assessment.). A sense of purpose. Because they make their admiration so visible, people on the receiving end may feel uncomfortable and pressured. Thanks to their Introverted Intuition function, they excel at predicting what people will do, and they easily “see behind the curtain” in any given situation. 4. Rather than “social” contact, INFJs need “human” contact — that is, mutual human understanding. Employing metaphors and symbolism, they tend to be excellent writers, poets, and musicians. 3. Their easy empathy and kindness can also benefit the workplace a lot. Suddenly, the INFJ has “turned off.” They have shut themselves away, alone, and can’t be bothered by anyone or anything. Their easy-going nature belies an ambitious, strategic, and at times, strong-willed core. If you need us to go against our ideals or principles to make you happy, this can cause us a great deal of internal turmoil and tension. INFJs are just waiting to dive into your inner world and learn more about what makes you tick. This focus on material things may seem contradictory to their spiritual, “old soul” nature, but for them, beauty is a calming, inspiring force. If you have any issues with your INFP partner, don’t discuss them publicly. INFJs are not the type to just go along with the crowd. Her story is inspirational by defeating negativity with raw will power and innovation. I myself have struggled with this. They see the world in a way that not very many people do and must take special care to ensure they’re setting themselves up for success with living a happy life. We are especially happy when other people recognize ou contributions and make us feel valuable. Rather, alone time is as nourishing as food and water to the INFJ. 2. INFJ’s are highly idealistic and will always dream big when it comes to your relationship. Little Things That Make INFJ Happy. When we write things down, we make them more real and tangible. They often feel like conversation falls short of conveying their deepest ideas and feelings, so they turn to creative expression. Many INFJs find that sharing their insights through writing, counseling, or leadership makes them happy. Be completely truthful with yourself, and remember, you don’t have to show this list to anyone (unless you want to). Take heart, my dear INFJs. INFJs tend to like minimalist environments, because too much stuff in sight can overwhelm their already busy minds. As an INFJ, it doesn't matter to me if everyone I know remembers my birthday or not, but I do want the people who are the most special to me remember. What are the best ways for an INFJ to make and keep great friends? Let’s take a look at some of the INFJ weaknesses. There are happy INFJ’s, and for a rational “normalish” approach to how to obtain this I recommend the writings of Holly Robertson. People who are patient with them, and aren’t overly demanding. Still feel excited to see her every time. They always have in the back of their mind your favorite activities, places to go, and preferences when making plans. Here are three actionable steps that you can take to cultivate happiness everyday. Throughout my discovery, I’ve come to find there are a handful of things that I and other INFJs need to be happy. When we’re able to exercise all four functions well, we’ll be better able to make informed decisions and manage our emotions, which are important factors in cultivating happiness. From a young age, INFJs are obsessed with understanding human nature. Appreciate art, music, nature, kindness, and knowlege. They need people who can enter into their very private inner world. We want to make sure they are ok and have everything they need. Let’s break them down. Did it mean not always being the overly enthusiastic one because it was tiring for me to keep up? Develop your Ti by examining and strengthening your inner mental framework. Accepting your INFJ personality doesn’t mean that you should stop improving yourself or be successful in areas of life that matters to you such as relationship and career.. Just because a person is born with an … Maybe all three? If you’re anything like me, you’re always ruminating on how to be happy. How to Care for an INFJ 1. INFJs are complex people with many layers. They need to learn to trust in their own knowledge and understanding, rather than allowing others to make them feel guilty because of this. When they feel appreciated by the people around them, and when they feel loved. This will only stress out your INFJ. Any physical activity or craftsmanship that you enjoy would do — like going for a walk around your neighborhood or creating art — but try yoga if you’d like an extra dose of spirituality. What I mean is something you have already planned that you know your INFJ will love doing. Don’t let their quiet, easy-going demeanor fool you. We have… They want to make the object of their objection happy in any and every way possible. INFJs are naturally warm and something about them encourages others to trust them, so in the workplace they’re usually everyone’s first choice when they need someone to talk to. How to keep and INFJ excited and happy in a relationship? For the INFJ this can actually be a lot of pressure when they are in love, since they want to live up to these expectations they set for themselves. INFJ Leadership: How the INFJ Handles Managing Others While leadership roles are important, not everyone is suited to these positions. The INFJ is also said to be one of the most misunderstood types. They are probably not the types to alphabetize their bookshelves (attending to tiny details in their environment drains the intuitive INFJ), but they do need things generally picked up, put away, and clutter-free. INFJs need at least one person in their life who “gets” them — or at least makes an effort. When I help someone and they are grateful and they let me know. Ever wonder why you see so many INFJs in online type communities? We are happy when we are doing something that is important to those around us, something helpful and useful. Whenever something negative happens, particularly in relationships, INFJs tend to blame themselves. Simply working to pay their bills will leave them feeling empty and restless. Sometimes they question their own sanity, because they see and understand things that others don’t. Sit down with paper and pen and start asking yourself questions. Ryder Caroll, creator of the bullet journal method, proposed the idea of intentional living. Is it by knowing that you lived every day the best you could? Another simple exercise to try is to close your eyes and imagine any thoughts leaving your mind. INFJs will not be content living a shallow life. Make sure to provide them ample time to respond and be an “active listener” by inquiring about their answers. Add our “F” energy to that, all that mushy desire to make sure everyone is happy, and we can end up really overdoing it. My cats when they rub up against me, sit in my lap and purr contently. 18. INFJs do not need as much structure as SJ types like ISFJs or ESTJs. Signs of an Unhealthy INFJ. Instead of putting in enormous effort to be perceived as “warm” and “friendly,” I might stay interested but reserve my full energy for only those who I want to build/maintain a friendship with. Simply working to pay their bills will leave them feeling empty and restless. If you are special to an INFJ, your friend would have probably told you. Ti is rooted in logic, but since it’s focused inwardly, it may be influenced by our subjective (and possibly inaccurate) biases and experiences. Se is in tune with the sensory world, with real-world, tangible data. Don’t: Try and make her jealous because she will think you have no interest in her, and will promptly drop you for being so fickle. While this can help us navigate relationships and forge connections with anyone, conversely, it can turn us into people-pleasers and leave us with an unstable sense of self. INFJs are portrayed to be sweet and happy people who are always there to help those around them. How you’re really feeling, even though you said you’re “doing fine.” INFJs love discussing personal, big-idea topics.
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